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| Terrier by Stephen Parker. |
Almost every morning in my local park a large, heavy-set man can be seen walking his three curly-haired, black terriers. The dogs, who look almost identical, all have pretty-girl names and are probably sisters, if not triplets. It is difficult to keep a straight face when he calls out to them, but keep it you must, because by the look of him he could (and possibly would) punish you for so much as a titter.
The dogs like to take it in turns to run behind the bushes and pretend not to see or hear their master, which annoys him, but only for the short while until they come trotting back, all innocent looking, when his hard face breaks into an indulgent smile.
I have read somewhere that domestic canines were partly bred for their ability to get along with people, to the extent that now many of them prefer us to their own kind. We are truly dog's best friend, despite all the genetic indignities – the floppy ears, bandy legs, slack jaws and ugly mugs – that we have thrust upon them.
Imagine, if you will, the situation in reverse. A race of super-intelligent dogs has taken over the world and they want to keep us humans as working creatures and pets. Believing that they can improve us, they start a selective breeding programme, and over many generations produce numerous different breeds, most having little resemblance to the ancestors. There are tiny, yappy humans a foot tall; big lumbering ones, covered in long hair and drooling continuously; black and white spotty ones with big eyes; humans with ears down to their shoulders and little snub noses; humans with elongated, sausage-like bodies and stubby arms and legs; skinny ones who can run almost as fast as racehorses, and strong, tenacious ones built for fighting.
Because of inbreeding, many of these new varieties of people suffer defects of bone, liver, kidneys and other organs. The big ones find it physically impossible to mate with the small ones, but it hardly matters, because most of the males had their gonads removed as babies anyway.
The stuff of nightmares, indeed, but this is exactly what we have done to our poor mutts. Do they complain? No, they don't care how lazy, stupid or neglectful we are, they look up to us as if we are the wisest, kindest, most lovable creatures ever to walk the earth.
I'm not embarrassed to admit that when I saw my neighbour again in the park yesterday with his canine entourage, I felt a twinge of envy. What terrific little companions they looked to be, so happy and full of life! I resolved to study the different types of terriers, so that when one day I'm in a position to own one (and have the time to care for it properly) I will know which to choose.
From the Internet I learned that terriers were originally bred for their ability to catch and kill "vermin" (mice, rats, rabbits, otters, foxes, badgers), and therefore tend to be tenacious in character. I learned that terriers are traceable to medieval times, and that their name derives from their use as underground pest hunters (Latin terra = earth). That only comparatively recently have they been bred for their appearance, and that there are dozens of different breeds. Some of these I know already and have made up my mind about: Jack Russells (too barky), Yorkies (nice but dim), Bull Terriers (too aggressive), West Highland White Terriers (difficult to keep clean, apparently). Others I've never heard of: Soft Coated Wheaten Terriers, Kerry Blues and Sealyhams.
Following my brief study of terrier literature and photographs, I am able to narrow down my short-list of preferred types to three: Smooth Fox Terrier, Scottish Terrier (“Scotty Dog”) and Norfolk Terrier, in no particular order.
Most terrier breeds were developed in the British Isles, but they are highly regarded abroad. I know this because I used to live in Scandinavia, in a suburb where many of the domestic pets were terriers of British extraction. Owners, on discovering that I too was British, would often tell me about their dogs and the origins of the breeds.
There, as in many other parts of the world, there are clubs, events and publications dedicated to the various types of terriers. I'm sure that many thousands of foreign enthusiasts have become interested in Britain and learned about British history and culture through owning terriers – surely one of this nation's most successful and popular exports!
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